As a widow, healthy money management is all about small steps. You are capable of handling your financial affairs. You do not have to be an expert. Nothing works as well as a little knowledge and organization. Here are three tasks to get you started: Step 1: Get Informed – Start With The Basics One of the most important things you can do to improve your financial situation is to have a clear picture about where you currently stand. Simple … [Read more...]
Finding Your Path During the Month of Love
Sometimes seeing red hearts and cupids in the store windows hurts. Sometimes witnessing the special smiles that couples share is painful. Sometimes the reminders of love deepen your grief. For some, this will be the first Valentine's Day since your Valentine died. February is the month of Love, but it can be difficult if you are grieving. The Old Letting go of what used to be is not an act of disloyalty. It does not mean forgetting the love … [Read more...]
The New Year’s Gift for a Widow: The Butterfly
As I began to write the first blog of this year, my mind immediately went to all the positive resolutions and “new beginnings” everyone focuses on. But, what if you are a widow? What if life is far from positive right now? You may feel you are stuck between the life you had and the life you feel you are now forced to endure. As a coach, what resonates for me is the journey of transformation you are on. When I think of transformation, I reflect … [Read more...]
How Grief Can Influence Financial Decision Making
The initial twelve months following your husband’s death is what I call the “year of transition”. It is important to realize that your judgment—your ability to make the right decisions—during this emotionally trying time may become impaired. When a relationship is lost, part of the structure that guides one’s actions goes with it. Until this structure is rebuilt, the mourner and her money are very vulnerable. Long term decisions are regularly … [Read more...]
After The Service
Please take some time for yourself. For most widows, after the service is not the time to immediately start organizing your financial affairs. Conflicting and rapidly changing emotions are often experienced after the initial shock. The numbness your mind utilized to keep your body functioning begins to wear off. People begin to go home, back to their normal lives. The “quietness” sets in and your body begins to feel the pain. This is usually when … [Read more...]
Organizing and Paying Appropriate Bills After the Death of Your Husband
The first few weeks after the loss of your husband are often a blur. Everything now can be categorized “before he died” and “after he died”. Time is passing but at the same time it is staying still. Guess what? The bills still have to be paid. This list is to get you through the task of bill paying and nothing more so you can go back to taking care of yourself. Estate Checking Account Typically, your husband’s estate should have its own … [Read more...]
Immediately After His Death
Regardless of the circumstances leading to your husband’s death, the initial response is usually shock, disbelief, denial, and numbness. “It’s as if time stopped.” This is the body’s natural way of protecting itself against emotional shock. You may immediately feel as if you are in a tunnel or a ‘daze’. Often there is an experience of voices being muffled or far away. During this extremely fragile and vulnerable time, you must take care of … [Read more...]
During the Holidays, Grief Cannot Be Shopped Away
Overspending during the holidays can be a serious risk for grieving spouses struggling to make difficult emotional and sometimes financial adjustments after their loss. For many widows, holidays are the hardest part of grieving. When you have lost someone special, your world loses its celebratory qualities. Holidays can magnify this. All those jingling bells and fa-la-la-la-las can become an unintentional backdrop for pain. These emotions can … [Read more...]
Business Ownership as a Part of Your Husband’s Estate
My parents owned an oil distributorship that delivered fuel and heating oil to homes. My mom handled the internal office operations. My dad handled the relationship side of the business. On a insanely thick foggy night, my dad missed seeing a road sign and instead of turning right his jeep wagoneer went into a lake. In seconds he was dead and so was the business. What came after was a difficult time. My mother had to continue to run the … [Read more...]
Understanding the Widow’s Property Tax Exemption
My recently widowed friend was frantic. Her loud loving Italian family along with several neighbors were pestering her to claim her property tax widow’s exemption. When she finally got down to the property tax office, the results were disappointing. Concerned for her well-being, these people all thought there were huge benefits for her, and were just trying to help. In some situations, that is true. In Texas, there is a set of circumstances … [Read more...]
